Puppy Love

My kids have been begging for a dog for the last 5 yrs and though my husband and I love dogs, when our 15-year old beloved pug died when my youngest was barely 2, I had had enough of dealing with kids and pets and all their collective messes, demands and needs.  I thought I came up with a great compromise; that we would dog-sit for other people’s dogs (and we do quite regularly) but they still campaign for their own pooch….daily.

But as the kids have gotten older, we began quietly wondering if we might be depriving them of on an important childhood experience and if getting a dog might actually make them more responsible by giving them some daily care responsibilities that will not be easily forgotten (or will at least have very real noisy/messy/smelly consequences to remind them for next time when they do).

We recently mentioned to the kids that we were “thinking about getting a puppy,” which for your own future reference directly translates into “we’re getting a puppy!!!!” in kid-speak.

And so it begins.  I am taking on the acquisition of this newest family member very seriously.  I am determined to do this right!

Bringing home a new puppy is a big deal, so I invite you to follow us on our journey; through research, acquisition, love and adorableness, training, mistakes and whatever else may come.

Stay tuned…

One of the reasons I enjoy blogging is learning from other parents. The more we engage, the more I realize that we’re really quite similar..even if they live on the other side of the globe. Such is the case with, Dominique Goh, a Singaporean elementary school teacher, freelance writer and mom of 3. I recently asked the blogger of Dominique’s Desk a few questions on parenting in Singapore & I confirmed that it is a small world after all.

What can we learn from your culture that would allow us to be better parents?

Our climate in Singapore is..more community centered then individual focus. Showing mutual respect to people of other races and religions is strongly emphasized here as we have aim to be a multicultural and multi religious country. It is also stated in our national pledge

To show tolerance to others and accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their own religion and views have kept the people in our island nature away from rioting and violence.  By being better persons we in turn are able to focus more on our own families as we do not need to worry about political instability, racial tensions and other related issues.

Do you still teach?

I’m currently on NPL (No Pay Leave) and home taking care of my 3 kids.  The only kids I teach are my own.  My hubby and I had agreed that I would stay home during our children’s formative years to give them the best care and guidance that they need. From ages 0-2 years old a child has extremely rapid development both physically and mentally and I want to be there to nurture them every step of the way.

I have seen many of my previous students “neglected” by their parents who were too busy pursuing their corporate career or just making enough for survival and are not able or too exhausted to properly parent their own kids. I don’t want to fall into such a category. As a parent it should be our top priority to give the best to our kids.

With 3 children, how do you keep your mind fresh & fulfilled throughout your day?

Having 3 hyperactive kids – 21 months, 5yrs old & 8 yrs old, a lot of my energies get expanded on them on a daily basis. I keep myself active through blogging, interacting online with friends and clients, reading books, cooking and baking. Setting aside time for myself to do things which I love amidst teaching and interacting with the kids and household chores keeps me going from dusk to dawn.

I do schedule activities to do with each child on a daily basis so that I am able to spend equal amount of time with each child of mine.

You mentioned (unsolicited by me) that your children are fans of Blue’s Clues & Super Why. How are these programs different than other shows your children might view?

Blue’s Clues & Super Why both have the detective element in the show. Other kids shows which I have seen like Barney, Arthur, Cat in the Hat etc. mostly deal with themes of family, love or just plain fun and entertainment. They do not really show a child how to process information (clues) to solve a bigger problem (issue).

What I like about Blue’s Clues and Super Why is they bring you through the thought process and show the pre-schooler step by step how to analyze what they have at hand to find the answer. It gets the kids more interactive while watching the show and they are able to hone skills which they would need to rely on while they grow up to understand and use (i.e. In the answering of comprehension questions in school)

Sincere thanks Dominique for sharing your thoughts with us!

If you have any cultural attitudes that you feel affect the way you parent, please share them with us below.

“Super WHY Live! is the live stage show inspired by the hit PBS Kids TV series. The tour is coming to a stage near you in 2012, but we’ve created some videos to show you what’s going on behind the scenes as we build the show.

In this video, Super WHY Live songwriter Jack Antonoff (of fun. – presently with a #1 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and Digital Songs charts with “We Are Young”) talks about writing music for grown ups and kids, and about how excited he is for the debut of Super WHY Live!”

~Super Why Live Tour

[Click HERE for more info ]

The Colorforms Revolution app has just been released for iphone & ipad! 

This comes off the success of Out of the Blue Digital’s Super Why app which was a Parents’ Choice Silver Award winner! (full disclosure: a division of Out of the Blue Ent.)

Check it out & share your creations!

..my youngest daughter said to me when I picked her up from school.

She just found out that one of her best friends is moving in a few weeks.

While it’s sad, it’s the second time this has happened to her in two years. That’s two times too much for any 8yr old.

It breaks my heart to see such a happy little girl wrestle with such feelings.

We talked about love & loss.

We talked about how her friend’s family will be much happier there.

We talked about how great it is to know people all over the country and the fun we have when we travel to meet them.

We talked about video chatting and using technology to keep in touch with our distant friends.

But mostly we talked about how nice it is that she can lean on those that live under our roof.

She stopped holding them in

…but woke up this morning with a smile.

[ Feel free to send suggestions that have helped your child manage the "loss" of a friend ]

3 teachers, 3 clues I learned…

On teacher appreciation day (Tues 5/8), I usually think back on my most inspiring teachers, wishing that I could thank them for everything they taught me:

Mr. Walker from Harrington Park Elementary School:
He taught me to write from my heart.  I learned to use writing as a powerful tool to express my point of view.

Mister Fred Rogers:
He taught me, through television, that I can believe in myself.  I also learned how powerful an educational tool television can be.

Dr Rosemarie Truglio at Teachers College, Columbia University (now at Sesame Workshop) taught me about the research on children and television as well as how to maximize the creative to teach.  She gave me the confidence to write my first show, The Magic Library, which turned into PBS’ Super Why!.

What makes the great teachers great is pretty simple to list but it comes with incredible characteristics that would better any parent as well. After all, a strong correlation exists between the growth that goes on inside a home & the learning the continues outside of it.

My list of traits to be an effective teacher, which also holds true to be a great parent, would include the following:

• Belief, Care & Respect for their students & a Strong Understanding of who they are
• Passion for their work
• Creative & Flexible method of teaching

So, go hug a teacher, and thank them for everything they do!

The USS Intrepid Air/Space Museum (NYC) recently won the bid to acquire the Enterprise for permanent display at the carrier museum on NYC’s West Side.  So last week, NASA’s Shuttle Carrier Aircraft, a 747, brought the space shuttle to New York City.

The NASA/Intrepid folks wanted to historically welcome the Enterprise to NYC, so to promote the Enterprise’s arrival, they had it flown up the Hudson River at a relatively low altitude – mounted atop the 747 – while passing her future home, the Intrepid Museum.

A friend just shared these incredible pictures with us & we wanted to share them with you (absolutely no Photoshop/editing was done on either).  If you’ve ever witnessed one of these flyovers, let us know all about it and for more incredible information on all things NASA, be sure to check out their comprehensive site.

Can’t get no satisfaction in your relationship? Individual & Relationship Coach, Rhona Berens, PhD, CPCC, is a Parent Advocate dedicated to parents’ well being. Rhona’s insights on nurturing a strong, happy & healthy relationship first, which makes for a better parent, resonates with me.  I recently asked her for her “3 Clues” that we need to employ, and as you’ll see, I took her advice for a spin!                      -Angela

Coming up with 3 Clues to Parents’ Daily Relationship Satisfaction is like coming up with 3 healthy foods that every kid will eat. But, since I believe good things come in 3′s, here’s my take on 3 tips to enhance relationship (& personal) fulfillment:

Clue #1: FOLLOW THE 10% RULE

When we try to remedy a problem—like not feeling as close as we used to or want to—we often look for a big solution: e.g., a no-kids vacation; do-or-die weekly dates. What happens? We get overwhelmed by the planning or disappointed when our major efforts don’t cause a major shift in our relationship.

Instead of giving your all, come up with 1 or 2 easier options that take just 10% effort. Why?

(i) When time & energy are at a premium, 10% is about all we can spare

(ii) Because 10% is doable, so is our follow-through and

(iii) If 10% effort helps us connect a little, we might try 10% again. String a few together and we’ve got 100% improvement in how close we feel.

AS:   We can do 10%!  To me, this was like telling myself just work out for 20min…. & then that always turns into a few more minutes, which leads to a few more days.   Our 10%: dinner & drinks just us at the dining table after the kids went to bed.  So nice, like a date…but 10% of the effort. 

CLUE #2: HONOR RIGHTS

Nope, not civil or legal ones, the “I’m as right as you are” kind. It’s human nature to think our perspective & way of doing things (laundry, supervising homework, fill-in-the-blank), is the right way. Yet, in relationships there’s no one right way to do things. If you replace proving you’re right with appreciation for each other’s differences, you enhance mutual respect & closeness.

Still feeling bugged by your spouse’s approach? Nix the criticizing & get genuinely curious: What inspired you to do it like that? What’s important to you about this issue? In other words, stop instructing and start asking questions that enhance understanding (which isn’t the same as agreeing).

AS:   Why is it so hard to do this with a spouse?  It makes so much sense to talk like this with my girls or to write such an approach into my scripts.  But with each other, it comes out as “Why, on Earth can’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher vs the sink?”  So I tried, “Tell me what’s going on here?” & you know what I found out?  This is multi tasking.  Dishes in sink.  Help girls with homework.  Come back & put them in dishwasher.  I felt like a heel.  But an understanding one. 

CLUE #3: ADMIT & MODEL

Our lives are so busy and our plates so full, that parents—especially moms—are multitasking experts who, often, feel guilty about doing things that aren’t kid-focused (in truth, what we feel is shame, but that’s another matter). While guilt’s hard to avoid, it wreaks havoc on relationships & self-care. Instead of letting guilt stop you from spending quality-time with your spouse (or yourself), admit its power.

Instead of complaining about how you can’t do it all, tell your mate what you’d be doing with him (or her) if guilt weren’t a factor. Then, consider this: Research shows that happy parents (with themselves & each other) raise happy kids. So reread Clue #1 and start modeling relationship satisfaction so your kids will know what a great one looks like & how to create it themselves one day. If you don’t teach them, who will?

AS:   Okay, so at night I make my mental lists of all the things I’m supposed to do, forgot to do, feel bad/guilty about what I didn’t do.  Instead, I said them out loud to Greg.  Magic happened.  He took some off my plate, commiserated with me about some & added his own to make me feel better…showcasing a happy, healthy relationship bc at the end of the day that is exactly what we want for our girls, above all else. 

Thanks, Rhona!

With more than 20 years’ experience as an educator and professional mentor, Rhona Berens is a dynamic speaker and inspiring Individual & Relationship Coach. Sign up for Rhona’s free blog-posts at www.parentalliance.com and receive her “5 Quick Tips to Connect” as a thank you.