In last week’s post (Autism & Unexpected Joy) we spoke with Priscilla Gilman, author of the acclaimed memoir The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy. As mentioned, Priscilla offered an Angela’s Clues reader a signed copy of Gilman’s text, a beautiful exploration of our hopes and expectations for our children, our families, and ourselves.

Well, our randomly selected winner is, Bonbon Break‘s own, Val Vucich Curtis!

We sincerely appreciate your time Priscilla Gilman sharing with us. Congratulations Val & much thanks to everyone who spread the word about this inspiring memoir of positivity in the face of the unexpected.

1 in 88 children has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (CDC). When a mother’s expecting her first child, how are her expectations & hopes affected when she learns that such statistics will rapidly affect her new life?

I recently spoke with Priscilla Gilman, author of the acclaimed memoir The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy (Harper), a beautiful exploration of our hopes and expectations for our children, our families, and ourselves, & the ways in which experiences may lead us to re-imagine them. Gilman reveals her journey through crisis to joy, illuminating the flourishing of life that occurs when we embrace the unexpected.

I truly appreciate her time speaking with us. Priscilla also has agreed to give one of our readers a FREE signed copy of The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy. Further details will be at the end of this post.

Tell us about becoming a mom. How did it change you?

Oh, in so many ways!! Becoming a mother, especially a mother of 2 children with special needs (autism & dyslexia), has made me a much more patient, accepting, & compassionate person. It’s made me less fearful, judgmental, & less concerned about others’ opinions of me. I’m much less perfectionistic & much more open to experience. Having children has humbled me, surprised me, upset every expectation I had for the way my life was going to turn out, & allowed me to bloom into the person I was meant to be: a writer, a teacher, & an advocate for children, for literature and the arts..& for all people who don’t fit easily into boxes and are a little “different”.

Was there a specific experience that inspired you to write?

My book evolved organically out of talks I gave to parents, daycare providers, & teachers beginning in 2003, about a year after we discovered that our older son, Benj, had a rare disorder called hyperlexia. A few years later, I shared all these talks with my dear friend from Yale graduate school who was now a literary agent, and with her encouragement & guidance, I combined them into one cohesive article, which she submitted to numerous magazines and newspapers in 2007. When everyone passed on the article, my agent friend suggested that the material might be a book instead!

What were some of the challenges you encountered while writing the book?

1 big challenge was that the subject of my book was continually changing, growing, evolving, & that the story was ongoing! The other challenge was telling the truth while being kind, in particular when writing about the disintegration of my first marriage.

What have you learned since writing the book & talking to your readers?

What I thought was a very private & personal story has a universal resonance. There are so many gorgeous souls & good people in this world. That sharing, commiserating, empathizing, & connecting rather than withholding, judging, competing, & distancing are what make our lives meaningful & valuable.

I know you have reached a lot of moms with your story. What are some gratifying responses you’ve received?

Here’s an amazing letter I got about a month ago:

“I have to say that if it weren’t for your book, your beautiful writing attached to all of the personal experience I never would have made it through that 1st year. I have gone back & read the book about 10 times now. It is a book that changed my life forever…it was through reading your book that led me to take Jackson to a Developmental Pediatrician & Psychiatrist. If I would have just listened to our pediatrician & early intervention therapist who knows where he (or I) would be!

I can’t thank you enough for this book…I feel as though it could be our family you are writing about. Jackson has made me a better mother, daughter, wife and friend. I actually do stop and “smell the roses” because of Jackson. He has shown me that beautiful things reveal themselves when you take your time and have to wait patiently for them. I had to wait 3 years for him to address me as “mommy” & it was like the most beautiful symphony I had ever heard. I still love hearing his voice call me mommy.

Thank you Priscilla for your wonderful gift, you & Benj will always be like those beloved characters we never forget from our most favorite books.”

(continue..)

I know that you and I share a love of Fred Rogers. Can you talk about why he means so much to you?

Fred Rogers was not only a calm, caring, wise, steady presence in innumerable children’s lives; he was also a wildly inventive, funny & magical being. There’s a scene in my book that describes the overwhelming sense of grief I experienced when I learned of Mr Rogers’ death. I write: “As children, my sister & I had adored the gentle, compassionate Mr. Rogers & the whimsical imaginative world he created. Watching him again with Benj, I’d newly appreciated how ahead of his time he was in his emphasis on emotional intelligence & his respect for the uniqueness of each individual child.” He exemplified everything I think is most important in approaching, teaching, and working with children.

I also recently did an interview with the Fred Rogers Company about their new DVD to help children with autism & their caregivers. If I had to pick the greatest influence on me as far as being an advocate for children goes, it would unquestionably be Mr. Rogers.

Who else inspires you?

My children inspire me immeasurably, every single day. My new husband (I got remarried in Feb ’12) inspires me with his dedication to teaching music to young children in a diverse, urban public school. Those who’ve taught or been therapists for my children inspire me with their ingenuity, compassion, patience, & commitment to making young children’s lives richer and more fulfilling. Growing up in the 70s & 80s, my greatest heroes and inspirations included John Lennon, Amelia Earhart, Helen Keller, Fred Rogers, and Jim Henson. The late, great Levon Helm, whom I got to know personally during the last years of his life, for his extraordinary musicianship, his grit and grace, his exuberance and humility. I think what ties all of these figures together are joy, generosity of spirit, commitment to helping and uplifting others, open-heartedness, and authenticity.

What one piece of advice would you give every new parent?

I always warn my friends about to have babies that the 1st weeks are incredibly difficult & grueling and advise them not to become disheartened or blame themselves if they are not instantly in love with parenting. Beyond that, my best advice for all parents is to make every effort to see & understand. Embrace & cherish the child they actually have, in all his or her intricate complexity & uniqueness. Find the strengths in your child, because every child has them, & use those strengths to help in areas of challenge. Love your children fiercely & advocate for them tirelessly. Teach them how to love fiercely & advocate for themselves.

What are some of your family’s favorite books, movies, and television shows?

I’ve got two boys, 14 & 10, and now a 10 year old stepdaughter, so finding things that please everyone, including the adults, is a bit of a challenge!
Here are some that have worked especially well!

Books:

• The Wizard of Oz series
• The Paddington Bear series
• The Phantom Tollbooth
• The Westing Game
• Miss Happiness and Miss Flower
• The Dollhouse
• Little Plum

Movies:

• The Black Stallion
• The Muppet Movie
• West Side Story
• Fly Away Home
• Oklahoma
• Meet me in St. Louis
• To Catch a Thief

Television Shows:

• American Ninja Warrior (even my stepdaughter!)
• The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew shows from the 1970′s (with my childhood crush Sean Cassidy)
• Sesame Street
• Electric Company
• Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
• The Brady Bunch

We would like to give away a FREE signed copy of Priscilla Gilman‘s book, “The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy” to an Angela’s Clues’ Facebook Fan!

To enter this giveaway simply (1) LIKE my Facebook page and (2) SHARE Priscilla Gilman’s post (via Facebook) with a friend! Winner will be chosen at random, on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at noon.

The Anti-Romantic Child was excerpted in Newsweek and featured on the cover of its international edition, The Anti-Romantic Child is an NPR Books Must-Read list, Slate’s Book of the Week, and selected as one of the Best Books by both WNYC’s Leonard Lopate Show & The Chicago Tribune. It was also awarded the Mom’s Choice Gold Award, honoring the best in family-friendly media & literature.

Priscilla Gilman received her B.A. summa cum laude & with Exceptional Distinction in English and her Ph.D. in English & American literature from Yale University. She was an English professor at both Yale & Vassar before leaving academia in 2006. With the publication of The Anti-Romantic Child in 2011, Gilman became a full-time author, speaker, & innovative teacher. She now writes regularly about autism, special needs children, parenting, education, & literature for The Daily Beast, NY Times, Chicago Tribune, MORE magazine, & Huff Post Parents. She blogs at www.priscillagilman.com & maintains a very active Facebook page. The NY Times published her op-ed, “Don’t Blame Autism for Newtown,” which was the #1 most emailed article on the NY Times site for the following day & has been extensively disseminated via social media. 

Priscilla lives in New York City with her family.

1 in 88 children has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (CDC). When a mother’s expecting her first child, how are her expectations & hopes affected when she learns that such statistics will rapidly affect her new life?

I recently spoke with Priscilla Gilman, author of the acclaimed memoir The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy (Harper), a beautiful exploration of our hopes and expectations for our children, our families, and ourselves, & the ways in which experiences may lead us to re-imagine them. Gilman reveals her journey through crisis to joy, illuminating the flourishing of life that occurs when we embrace the unexpected. 

I truly appreciate her time speaking with us. Priscilla also has agreed to give one of our readers a FREE signed copy of The Anti-Romantic Child: A Story of Unexpected Joy. Further details will be at the conclusion of this post.

Tell us about becoming a mom. How did it change you?

Oh, in so many ways!! Becoming a mother, especially a mother of 2 children with special needs (autism & dyslexia), has made me a much more patient, accepting, & compassionate person. It’s made me less fearful, judgmental, & less concerned about others’ opinions of me. I’m much less perfectionistic & much more open to experience. Having children has humbled me, surprised me, upset every expectation I had for the way my life was going to turn out, & allowed me to bloom into the person I was meant to be: a writer, a teacher, & an advocate for children, for literature and the arts..& for all people who don’t fit easily into boxes and are a little “different”.

Was there a specific experience that inspired you to write?

My book evolved organically out of talks I gave to parents, daycare providers, & teachers beginning in 2003, about a year after we discovered that our older son, Benj, had a rare disorder called hyperlexia. A few years later, I shared all these talks with my dear friend from Yale graduate school who was now a literary agent, and with her encouragement & guidance, I combined them into one cohesive article, which she submitted to numerous magazines and newspapers in 2007. When everyone passed on the article, my agent friend suggested that the material might be a book instead!

What were some of the challenges you encountered while writing the book?

1 big challenge was that the subject of my book was continually changing, growing, evolving, & that the story was ongoing! The other challenge was telling the truth while being kind, in particular when writing about the disintegration of my first marriage.

What have you learned since writing the book & talking to your readers?

What I thought was a very private & personal story has a universal resonance. There are so many gorgeous souls & good people in this world. That sharing, commiserating, empathizing, & connecting rather than withholding, judging, competing, & distancing are what make our lives meaningful & valuable.

I know you have reached a lot of moms with your story. What are some gratifying responses you’ve received?

Here’s an amazing letter I got about a month ago:

“I have to say that if it weren’t for your book, your beautiful writing attached to all of the personal experience I never would have made it through that 1st year. I have gone back & read the book about 10 times now. It is a book that changed my life forever…it was through reading your book that led me to take Jackson to a Developmental Pediatrician & Psychiatrist. If I would have just listened to our pediatrician & early intervention therapist who knows where he (or I) would be!

I can’t thank you enough for this book…I feel as though it could be our family you are writing about. Jackson has made me a better mother, daughter, wife and friend. I actually do stop and “smell the roses” because of Jackson. He has shown me that beautiful things reveal themselves when you take your time and have to wait patiently for them. I had to wait 3 years for him to address me as “mommy” & it was like the most beautiful symphony I had ever heard. I still love hearing his voice call me mommy.

Thank you Priscilla for your wonderful gift, you & Benj will always be like those beloved characters we never forget from our most favorite books.”

I know that you and I share a love of Fred Rogers. Can you talk about why he means so much to you?

Fred Rogers was not only a calm, caring, wise, steady presence in innumerable children’s lives; he was also a wildly inventive, funny & magical being. There’s a scene in my book that describes the overwhelming sense of grief I experienced when I learned of Mr Rogers’ death. I write: “As children, my sister & I had adored the gentle, compassionate Mr. Rogers & the whimsical imaginative world he created. Watching him again with Benj, I’d newly appreciated how ahead of his time he was in his emphasis on emotional intelligence & his respect for the uniqueness of each individual child.” He exemplified everything I think is most important in approaching, teaching, and working with children.

I also recently did an interview with the Fred Rogers Company about their new DVD to help children with autism & their caregivers. If I had to pick the greatest influence on me as far as being an advocate for children goes, it would unquestionably be Mr. Rogers.

(continue..)

Apple has picked Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood as it’s Show of the Week!

Download your free Daniel Tiger episode at iTunes this week.

And you thought it was going to be just an average Tuesday, in your neighborhood, didn’t you?!

Our daughter crawled into our bed last night with uncontrollable tears. Damn math!

After years of practice, I’m pretty good at the pillow wedge (strategically placing a rolled up pillow between me & one of my kids to absorb an involuntary thrust of an elbow or a foot as we lay quietly asleep) but I thought those days were long gone.

I guess with Angela’s birthday approaching this week, my 9 year old was thinking about what her life will be like when she’s her Mom’s age. Since that will be her age now + X amount of years, it naturally got her thinking about Angela & myself at our present age + X

You see where she’s going with this, right?

I’m telling you, tears..uncontrollable.

Especially as a Dad..a guy. We’ve got to fix the problem..most everything can be fixed..should be.

But while verbally stumbling in an awkward attempt to find the right thing to say, I took a cue from my wife.

Sometimes there’s nothing that can be said to fix, you can only hold onto them so they know they’re loved.

Part of what makes Daniel Tiger‘s  Neighborhood of Make-Believe so rich and lively are the voices that bring our character to life!

So, who are the voices?

Meet Jake Beale.  He is an 11 year-old adorable boy with lots of spunk and enthusiasm for Daniel!  He gets to sing, he gets to imagine, and he gets to be friends with millions of preschoolers!

This week, we’re giving you a never before sneak peek, behind the voices that make Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood so special.

Can you feel the love?? 

Hi Jake.  You play a preschool tiger named Daniel but how old are you..really?   

I’m 11.

And you have a teensy bit of an accent, where are you from? 

I’m from Toronto, Canada.

How are you like Daniel Tiger? Are your personalities similar?

I like to learn about new things and teach others new things.We’re both funny and we both love to sing.  I love to sing in the shower and annoy my two older sisters.

If you had to pick one favorite episode, which would it be?

Good Morning, Daniel.

I love that one, too and not just because I wrote it! And you sing so beautifully in that episode! 

If Daniel Tiger could do anything or go anywhere in the next episode, what would you want it to be?

Jamaica!  Because I like to swim and I love the beach.

Maybe we should start a campaign so we could go to Jamaica and write and record an episode from there!  I’m packed and ready to go!

What’s your favorite book?

The Hunger Games.  I’ve read them..twice.

When you’re not in the studio recording, what’s your favorite activity?

Hockey.  Hockey.  Hockey.  And tennis.

What was the funniest moment for you while working on the show?

One time I burped in the recording studio.

Jake has been acting since he was four years old. His adorable raspy voice has helped him land roles in a number of cartoons and currently most of his time acting is spent in voice studios. Jake works very hard at balancing his time on set with his school work and other passions. When he’s not in the studio or at school you can find him playing hockey, spending time with friends and family, or relaxing at sleep-away camp. Share some of your favorite Daniel episodes below with Jake!

Boston marathon

2013 Parents’ Choice Award goes to Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Congratulations to The Fred Rogers Company, PBS Kids, 9 Story Entertainment, Out of the Blue Enterprises & Voodoo Highway Music & Post. Lots of little happy faces are in agreement with the nation’s oldest nonprofit program created to recognize quality children’s media.

Congrats to all who continue the magic in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe!!

Thank you for this wonderful show. I have the honor of being a mom to a brilliant 4 year old with high-functioning Autism. This show is perfect for kids with ASD.

The day after we watched the first show, he wanted to do show & tell. When I told him that he wasn’t supposed to have show & tell until the next day, he immediately said, “I feel disappointed.” He proceeded to sing “When something seems bad, turn it around & find something good” (complete with the choreography of a spin). He then proceeded to tell me that he was excited to see his friends at school that day.

We have seen him be able to quickly translate the lessons from other episodes into real life, as well.  This is the only show he has ever watched that elicits this type of  response.

Thank you!

-ASD Mom

Sincere thanks to you ASD Mom & to learn more about Autism or to help those who are affected by it visit:

My daughter proudly showed me a little, balsa wood purse that she made at school on Friday. It had 2 tiny, decoupage buttons, a stubby wooden latch and a brown, imperfect shoestring handle which, when viewed from the top, formed a face.

 creativity

“I like her smile” I said to my daughter.

“What smile? ” unconcerned about what her arrangement formed when viewed from another angle.

Even though her crafted smile was not intentional, it was there.

There’s something about creativity that allows one to feel content or whole. But when many exit childhood, they often lose this emotional connection because they have drastically slowed down their creativity.

This is not to say that everyone needs to be creative or artistic. BUT if we go about our day without enjoying the work, which is often the case when one’s only concern is the end return/product, we are not much different than machines.

Machines have no need to smile..we do.

I think we can all agree on that 

[For more info on creative projects go to PBS]