No offense, but who’s the slob? I’m not judging here, I simply started to reflect on how we choose to present ourselves and I’m just fleshing it out and…well, I’m just looking for some answers.

In the realm of self presentation, when does the gender division ramp up within couples? I ask because we’d just returned from a mini Bahamas vaca and I couldn’t help but notice that a large number of women looked healthy, they seemed to refrain from throwing on any old, college T and overall, they generally cared about how they presented themselves. On the contrary, their male counterparts looked like they were just awoken, their college T would have been a better choice and they carried themselves like it was their final day on Survivor!

Mind you, I’m a creative that wears jeans 6 out of 7 days, and I’ve never had a subscription to GQ, so while there might be a fashion discrepancy between my wife and myself, I care to look unlike I just emerged from the darkest depths. And while my sense of style might be different, I care to look presentable.

I understand we were on vaca where people are free to relax but that doesn’t mean a razor shouldn’t come into contact with their face or that they have to wear the shirt which they wear to acid wash their roof every fall!

I’m also okay with the fact that more men than women will prefer Home Depot toys over items di’ beauty or personal care gadgetry. What  does concern me, on the flip side, is when great care in oneself emerges from insecurity…a necessity to do it for others or some similar old fashioned attitudes. However, self love comes 1st, regardless of gender.

I just hope that if my daughters chose to spend enough money to send their facialist’s or personal trainer’s kids to college, it’s because it makes my daughters feel good…and if others benefit from their choice, that’s simply gravy. Yes, it’s nice when spouses care to better themselves for each other, but within reason…for they are people and not dolls. With that said, if the husband prefers to present himself as the Yedi, shouldn’t that be okay if every other aspect seems to be tended to in the relationship? Couldn’t Belle still love the beast without him transforming back into a handsome prince?! Or do you think an unkept fashion sense is the uniform of a fed up, non-expressive man pre-coup?

There seems to be such a huge disparity in many cases. Lend some insight if you will. As you’ve probably surmised, I’m still wrestling with this one.